Welcome back to our episode, dear parents! Today, let’s discuss parenting in the age of technology.
When I began recording, I had a strong inclination to address the relationship between children and screens. However, the issue at hand wasn’t so much about the kids but rather our own behavior, as parents, towards the technology into which our children are born.
Let’s consider what technology was like back in our day: We, too, were born into a world of technology. Remember the landline phones, the televisions, video recorders, and DVD players? As children, we embraced these new technologies with enthusiasm. So why was it easier for our parents, and indeed us, to manage and permit this usage? Primarily because most of this technology was static. The television was in the living room, around which the family would gather to watch a movie, news, or any other content.
As times changed, parents began introducing televisions into their children’s rooms. If my memory serves me right, it was a privilege. Once you had a TV in your room, friends preferred coming over to your house to sit, watch a movie, without parents constantly supervising.
But what about today? Modern technology is much more open or, as some might say, “unfettered”. But since it’s portable and in the hands of a child, parental worries begin.
The parent observes from the side, seeing their child engrossed in the content they’re viewing. They marvel at the dexterity of their child’s fingers as they swipe through pictures, knowing where to press to listen to songs or play games. Yet, in the same breath, that observing parent begins to fear, morphing into the ‘worried parent’.
The worried parent’s mind is filled with questions about the ever-evolving technology. They ponder profound queries about their child’s development, such as what harm could screens cause to their brain development? What impact does it have on their social and motor development, and just how many real-life experiences are they missing that are out there waiting for them?
The worried parent also thinks about the dangers of media and feels a lack of control. As a parent, you might find yourself sitting across from your child, who is deeply engrossed in their screen. You might be on the verge of scolding them, feeling frustrated by their attachment to the device. Perhaps you’re even considering grabbing the device from them and banning its use entirely. It’s important to recognize that such reactions often stem from a place of fear.It’s important to recognize that such reactions often stem from a place of fear. This is why screens have become a common tool for punishment among parents.
It’s a complex world we navigate as parents in the age of technology, and it’s a conversation we need to have, so let’s dive in.
So, you’ve probably done your homework. You’ve read the studies, the articles, you understand the risks. But how do we cope with the fear and the feeling of losing control when our kids engage with that tiny yet powerful screen?”
Today, we’ll discuss some do’s and don’ts when it comes to managing screen time for your children.
In our journey as parents, we need to adapt to the changing times, and that includes embracing the digital world. We’re often tied to our screens ourselves, and it’s become a tool we wouldn’t dare leave home without. So why not extend that understanding to our children? Show interest in their digital world, sit with them, engage in their online interests, and turn this seemingly wasted screen time into a productive learning experience. Create a routine around screen usage, having different rules for weekdays and weekends, and establish healthy boundaries.
It’s important, though, that your child feels part of this process. Discuss the new screen time rules with them and invite their input, perhaps on setting up reminders before screen time concludes. Let them know the consequences of not sticking to the schedule, not as a punishment, but as part of the agreed arrangement. And remember, there are many enticing alternatives to screen time. Show them through your actions that screen-free time can be just as enjoyable, maybe even more so.
Setting aside one day a week for a family movie is another great idea. It’s still screen time, but it’s shared and can prompt deeper conversations about the movie’s message or characters. But remember, we’re human and things don’t always go according to plan. If there’s a day when you need some peace and quiet, or you have an important meeting and need to allow some extra screen time, don’t beat yourself up. It’s all about maintaining balance.
While we’re here, let’s discuss a few don’ts. Try not to demonize the screen. Doing so often showcases our own fears and feelings of being out of control. Avoid using screen time as a punishment or threat – this only increases its desirability and can lead to power struggles. There’s no need to abruptly snatch the device from your child’s hands or turn off the screen without their consent. We’ve set clear boundaries, remember?
Avoid projecting your fears onto your child with statements like, ‘I’m tired of seeing you in front of the screen all the time,’ or ‘When I was your age, I played outside with friends.’ It’s essential not to reject technological progress entirely. We live in a digital age and you wouldn’t want your children to feel left behind.
And finally, while it’s natural to reminisce about our own childhoods, constant comparisons can be unhelpful. Their childhood is different, and that’s okay. If you’re keen to recreate some of your own childhood experiences for them, by all means, go ahead! I guarantee they’ll love it.
Remember, every family is unique, and your decisions are your own. And above all, involve your children in these decisions, let them think with you, and build an agreement together. Embrace technology with family-specific boundaries. Otherwise, this battle will never end!
That’s all for today’s episode. Remember, in the end, it’s all about finding a balance that works for your family. Until next time, stay empowered, and keep utilizing the digital age to work for you and your family, ultimately making your kids happier.
Yours,
Efrat.”
