When setting boundaries, parents must cooperate and, if necessary, compromise. For example, if there’s a disagreement on the number of sweets allowed per day, they could find a middle ground – perhaps two sweets on weekdays and three on weekends. Coordination is vital to maintaining a healthy parent-child relationship.

Another critical aspect of parenting is fostering a sense of belonging. Children, regardless of age, seek connection and inclusion within their families. Family therapists often emphasize the importance of reinforcing this connection to strengthen familial bonds. As parents, we are responsible for nurturing our children’s sense of belonging and creating a supportive, loving environment.

So, where do we falter as parents or caregivers? The issue arises when we compare our children. We say to them, “You know, your brother is more responsible than you!” or “Your sister listens to me every time I talk to her, but you don’t!” or “Why do you always make a mess when you are eating?” The moment we compare them to another child, we make our child feel inadequate in certain aspects. They think they aren’t good at eating neatly or being responsible. Consequently, their sense of belonging within the family is undermined, and they feel ineffective. This leads to negative behavior – when they’re unhappy, they may behave poorly or even do the opposite of what we expect!